


Strength

by AchillesMonkey



Series: Care and Comfort - AoS Non-Sexual Age Play Stories [6]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Age Play, Angst, Big Sister Bobbi, F/M, Feelings, Fix-It, Fixing May and Hunter's relationship that is, Gen, Introspection, Little Daisy, Non-Sexual Age Play, Swearing, Uncle Mack - Freeform, mama may
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 05:04:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7086529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AchillesMonkey/pseuds/AchillesMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She used to think that being strong meant not feeling and not showing what you felt. Now she knows that that simply isn’t true."</p>
<p>May processes her feelings after the events of 3x07 and what that means for her relationships with her ducklings. This fic contains mentions of non-sexual age play. There's also some swearing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strength

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to give a huge thank you to 'a' who gave me the idea for this fic!

Andrew had once told her that there are eight basic emotions: fear, anticipation, joy, surprise, trust, anger, disgust, and sadness. Melinda is pretty sure that she’s felt each of those at least once since this whole ordeal began. Fear that Andrew would hurt someone. Anticipation about the truth. Joy when she realized she got to him before he could kill Joey. Surprise when Andrew ICE’d her. Trust that Coulson would find them. Anger that he brought up Bahrain. Disgust over what he’d done. Sadness over what she’d had to do.

Anger is the easiest to feel, followed closely by disgust. Sadness hurts too much, so she locks that one away. Joy is rare, thanks to Bahrain, but that’s been coming back slowly ever since she took Fury’s assignment to join Coulson’s team and somehow became mother to four loving, but messed up kids. And since these kids have claimed her as their own, she’s slowly been chipping away at the wall she built up around her heart.

After Bahrain, she saw how the anger and sadness and disgust that she felt hurt herself and the people she loved, so she distanced herself, locked her emotions away, fled. It was the only way she knew to protect herself and those around her. She thought it made her strong.

But now, she’s been letting others in. First Phil—her best friend through everything. Then Skye had attached herself to her and refused to let go. Then Jemma, then Leo, and finally Lance. She let herself love these people, let herself be needed, let her maternal instincts take over so she could be the mother she’d always wanted to be. She let herself worry about these kids, be afraid for them, be sad and angry over what was done to them and what they had to do. Now she knows that true strength is letting others see your vulnerability.

It is both extremely simple and impossibly difficult to separate their Big and Little sides. She logically knows that Leo and Jemma need her in different ways than Agents Fitz and Simmons do; that Lance is not at all responsible for Hunter’s decision to keep going after Ward; and that while Agent Johnson is happy and relieved to see her back on the team, Daisy is furious that her Mommy abandoned her. But it’s hard for her to work with Agent Johnson when all she wants to do is gather Daisy in her arms and promise to never leave again. It’s hard for her to not let her fury about Hunter’s decision carry over to her care of Lance. It’s hard for her to allow FitzSimmons to do their jobs instead of sending them somewhere where they will never be hurt again.

And now that she knows Andrew is Lash? How does that fact change her relationship with Lance Hunter? She still wishes he had made a different call (though deep down she knows she would have made the same decision if it hadn’t been Andrew that Ward was threatening) but now that she knows Andrew would have survived either way, well— Maybe she’s not so furious at him?

And now that she’s back on the team, how does that change her relationship with Daisy Johnson? She’s still the agent’s SO. She’d still like to be Daisy’s Mommy. But will the girl let her? Melinda knows that leaving Daisy was not the best decision for the girl who had been abandoned and betrayed by every other mother in her life, but it had been the best decision for Melinda at the time. When should one prioritize their needs over someone else’s? And how do you build up trust again if taking care of yourself hurts the person you’re taking care of? She wishes she could talk to Andrew about it.

And how does this whole situation change her relationship with Andrew? She’d felt joy in Hawaii. A joy she’d felt with Andrew before Bahrain that she had locked away after that horrible mission. Then he’d disappeared off the face of the earth after they returned from Hawaii and she’d felt sadness and anger. She had been starting to trust him again, but that’s ruined now. Her relationship with Andrew will never again be the same.

Melinda glances at the clock on her nightstand. It’s nearly 10 at night. She should try to get some sleep, but first she needs to check on her babies. She gets up and pulls on her SHIELD jacket as she leaves her room.

Fitz is in the lab. He’s completely absorbed in something on his computer screen, so Melinda represses the urge to interrupt and ask him if he’s eaten dinner. She just watches for a few seconds to make sure he’s still breathing.

She finds the rest of the team in the common room. Jemma is curled up on the couch, asleep, with one of Fitz’s weighted blankets on top of her. Daisy is sitting on the other side of the couch and Melinda notices that she’s holding her blankets and elephant. Mack is sitting on the floor in front of the couch. As she watches, Daisy drapes one of her blankets over Mack’s head. “Uh oh!” he calls out playfully. “Daisy, everything’s gone dark. Where’d everyone go?” Daisy bursts into giggles and pulls the blanket off his head. She feels joy at the sound of her baby’s laughter.

Bobbi (sitting on Hunter’s lap in the armchair) notices her and inclines her head to ask if she wants to join. Melinda shakes her head once and steps back into the shadows so she can watch but not be seen. She’s not as hidden as she’d like to be. Hunter notices her too, and the easy-going grin he’d had on his face as he watched Daisy’s antics immediately disappears. She feels sadness at the understanding that her anger caused that reaction. She’s going to need to talk to him.

“We should probably get these babies to bed,” Bobbi says, climbing off of Hunter’s lap. “Where do you want to sleep tonight, Flower?” she asks Daisy. “In your bed, or with Jemma, or with me and Hunter?”

Daisy briefly sucks on her thumb before asking, “Daddy’s not home yet?”

Bobbi and Mack glance at each other. “He had to work late with Ms. Price,” Bobbi tells her.

Hunter scoffs. “Yeah, they’re working all right.” Bobbi punches him in the shoulder and he yelps.

“I’ll sleep in my bed,” Daisy decides.

“Okay,” Bobbi agrees. “Do you want some help getting ready?” Daisy nods and puts her thumb back in her mouth. “Hunter, my room tonight?” Bobbi asks as she takes Daisy’s free hand.

“Yep,” Hunter agrees.

Mack picks up Jemma, weighted blanket and all, and carries her out of the common room after Bobbi.

Melinda feels anticipation as she steps out of the shadows and blocks Hunter’s exit. “Hi,” she says. Hunter eyes her warily and sits back down in the armchair. “I’m sorry,” Melinda begins. “I shouldn’t have gotten so angry at you. If I had been in your shoes, I would have made the same call.”

Hunter nods. “We all get irrational when Ward threatens the people we love. The bastard’s just got that way about him.”

“Yeah,” May agrees. “I still can’t believe I fucked him.”

The look on Hunter’s face is priceless and she wishes she could take a picture. His eyes widen, his mouth drops, and he stares at her in pure shock. “You did _what_ to Ward?” he asks after taking a few seconds to process what she’d said.

“Before the Hydra reveal, Ward and I had a physical relationship together, to let off steam after difficult missions.”

“Fucking hell,” Hunter mutters, still in shock.

“Yes, it was.” Melinda agrees with a smirk.

Hunter laughs and then turns serious. “How are you doing?” he asks her. “With Andrew?”

Melinda feels fear twist in her gut and she has to fight the impulse to shut down and flee. She knows she needs to learn to trust her team to take care of her too. “It’s hard,” she answers honestly. “I didn’t—I—” She’s not sure what to say, how to describe the pain inside. “It sucks.”

Hunter nods. “Yeah, it does.” He looks down and scuffs his shoe against the floor. “I know you’re not one for talking much, but if you do want to talk, I’m getting better at shutting up long enough to listen.”

Melinda smiles briefly at that. “Thank you, Hunter.”

Bobbi comes back into the room. “Everything okay?” she asks, looking between them curiously.

“Yes,” Melinda says. “How are you doing, Bobbi? After the mission?”

“I’m good,” Bobbi answers. “You were right to push me. I was ready.”

“You’re a strong woman, Bobbi,” Melinda tells her.

“We all are,” Bobbi says, smiling at her.

“Even me?” Hunter wants to know.

“Especially you,” Bobbi tells him.

“How’s Daisy?” Melinda asks.

“She’s doing okay,” Bobbi answers. “She’s missed you. She’s mad at you, but she’s missed you. She’ll come around.”

May nods. “I should go to bed.” She says as she steps toward the door. “Good night.”

“Good night,” they respond.

Melinda goes back to her room and allows herself to feel. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Disgust. Joy. They hit her all at once and she lets herself cry about what happened. She used to think that being strong meant not feeling and not showing what you felt. Now she knows that that simply isn’t true. Strength is when you feel. Strength is when you let others help you when you need it. Strength is knowing you are allowed to need help, and cry, and be vulnerable with those you love. Melinda May is strong.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading, and thanks for the kudos/comments!


End file.
